there will be nothing new here, so get at us up there.
No, we aren’t talking about swiping V-cards or food from Joe’s, we’re talking about the plastic that has your what-you-thought-was-a-really-cute-senior-picture-but-actually-makes-you-look-like-you’re-ten square of incrimination on the bottom right-hand corner that’s relatively impossible to eat and study without. What a few years ago would have been acceptable for getting into Fishco and the Liquid Lounge, (mind you a pokemon card would have been adequate) is now, but has also probably always been, the bane of our existence.
The Sharpe Refectory, affectionately known by most as the Ratty, located on Wriston quad, is a mainstay of the undergrad experience at Brown. Its semi-decrepit state is almost too representative of a still hammered/hungover Monday morning, especially so because the food (apparently loaded with laxatives?!) is as grimy as some of the hygienically-challenged who eat in the caves.
Taking into account the upcoming long weekend, we thought it might be prudent to give you all a few words of wisdom about successfully avoiding blackout city. We’ve heard that a few people are going home, but let’s be real, everyone knows that the real good time will start immediately after we run train on Harvard hockey in the Meehan tonight…hopefully if you listen to us, you’ll actually be able to remember your late-night and not that dumb, blackout bitch, who’s very possibly speaking in a different language by 10.
As much as we love a traditional Valentine’s Day, we would probably love it a lot more at a school where the football frat’s catch phrase isn’t “why date you when I could Thete you?” As much as the thought of Thete-rape makes us want to hang out with the fencing team, we believe that these remarkable young men may actually be on to something. To celebrate Brown’s “hit it and quit it” MO on V-day, we’ve compiled a list of our five favorite places to bang on campus. Even if you don’t subscribe to the rest of Brown’s philosophy, you’ll still need a way to burn off all those chocolate and fancy dinner calories…
Congratulations, you finished with your first week back in Brunonia! We hope it’s improved since that first morning when Banner—the worst online registration tool in the history of registration—crashed just hours before classes began. Who actually checks where their 8:30 AM is like, before that morning? We would rather have slept through it completely than get to class a half hour late after wandering around trying to find the room. Get it together registrar.